Free Grace Women

The age of social media has ruined friendships.  We settle for cheap, easy relationships that can be accessed at the click of a button and forgotten in an instant.  But did God create us for casual greetings and communication through Facebook “likes”?  What are we called to do in friendships?  

I believe that God’s plan for our relationships is much more grand than what we typically strive for and experience.  I’d like to encourage us all to pursue beautiful friendships that honor God.

Maybe the best place to start is by asking, “What kind of friend do I want to have?”  How do we want others to treat us?  All of us want to be treated with love, respect, and kindness.  All of us want to be encouraged and reminded that we are valuable.  So, how can we do that for our friends?

Communicate clearly and kindly

How we speak to the people that we love can be life or death for them.  It’s so incredibly important to speak to our friends in truth and in love.  Make the effort to encourage your friends with the truth of God’s Word.  Remind them of God’s promises and His love for them.  Encourage them with verses about our future with Jesus and His glorious, coming kingdom.  Comfort them with the truth about God’s attributes. Speak the words that you long to hear from your friends.  

Ointment and perfume delight the heart, and the sweetness of a man’s friend gives delight by hearty counsel.  Proverbs 27:9 NKJV

Cut out gossip

Trading nasty stories about others has no place in a healthy friendship.  Your willingness to trash-talk people can lead to a lack of trust in a relationship.  Choose instead to build up others and assume the best of them. 

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. Ephesians 4:31 NKJV

Cultivate beautiful conversations

We have the wonderful opportunity to bring beauty into our friend’s life.  What brings your friend joy?  Search for it.  Ask them about their favorite music, books, and works of art. Discuss their goals, dreams, and hopes for the future. Point them to the beauty and glory of God’s Word.  

Consider your friend’s season of life

Everyone has various time constraints due to their profession and life season.  A single woman who works part-time will have different time and energy levels than a homeschooling mother with a newborn. Be considerate of your friend’s time, and don’t always expect them to put in the same level of effort as you are able.  Evaluate how each of your friends could best benefit from your friendship during their current situations.  If you are in the middle of a season of difficulty and are overwhelmed, ask your friend for help, prayer, and patience.  

Continue in prayer

Could there be any better way to love and support our friends than continually going to the Father in prayer on their behalf?  We have the privilege of petitioning God for our friend’s blessing, provision, wisdom, help in distress, and strength in temptation.  I recently had the honor of watching God answer my prayers to give my friend more opportunities to serve Him and earn rewards.  

I love what Paul prayed for the Philippians:

I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy…And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment, that you may approve the things that are excellent, that you may be sincere and without offense till the day of Christ, being filled with the fruits of righteousness which are by Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.  Philippians 1:3-4, 9-11 NKJV

Let us all strive to do well in our friendships.  Let us treat our friends as we would want them to treat us.  And let us bring glory to the greatest Friend of all.  

Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another; not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality.  Romans 12:10-13 NKJV

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