Free Grace Women

In Deuteronomy 6:5-7, Moses pled with the Israelites: to love the Lord and to constantly teach their children about Him and His ways. Moses said to them: 

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.”

Moses promised the Israelites that if they would fear the Lord and be careful to obey, that their days may be prolonged, that they may prosper and multiply greatly in a land flowing with milk and honey, that it would go well with them, and that they would be preserved. These are the promises in which my husband and I are placing our hope and the foundation upon which we are trying to parent. We have 4 sons, ages 3, 5, 8, and 10. Our deepest desires are for them to know God’s love, to remember Him and grow to love and trust Him, and to be careful to obey so that they might experience His protection and blessings throughout their lives. 

We are normal people, with normal levels of patience, and like most, our lives are full and the busyness poses a threat to an emphasis on spiritual things. I am working on naturally referencing scripture throughout the day to encourage and guide my boys, but we also incorporate the following activities on a weekly basis in order to ensure that we continually and intentionally impress faith and a spiritual mindset. I just wanted to pass on what has been working for us and encourage others to consider whether some of these might bless your family as well. 

• Physically bow down, daily and ask for God’s help and blessing. There is no greater defense against weariness and discouragement. And there is no greater source of wisdom. “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” James 4:10
• Get scripture into your own mind, daily, before you interact with anyone. Let God remind YOU who HE is, that His ways are good, and that things will go well if you do life His way. We are all so prone to wander, right? I’ve actually realized that I need to pause, and refocus back onto God two to three times a day! But, it doesn’t take long, and nothing matters more. If we want faith and Biblical thinking to overflow onto our kids, we have to fill ourselves, to the brim! “For out of the abundance of the heart, his mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45 NKJV) 
• Make Church a Top Priority, to support what you are doing at home, rather than as the primary source of influence, and don’t feel bad being picky about what your children are being taught. Read the church’s statement of faith and ask the leaders how they share the gospel. Are they using popular phrases that cloud the message of the free gift and require effort with words like submit and commit rather than by faith or belief? Or is it a clear message that emphasizes the free gift that we receive by faith? The message your children hear will impact their lifelong response to it. Why not surround your kids with those who hold the same mindset that you hope they will take on? Why not give them more adults to watch and learn from? We are making sacrifices in order to prioritize this, and it’s hard, but again, this is the most important foundation that we could pass on to our kids. 
• Gather Children’s Bibles and Create a Habit. My littles know that at 7 am each morning, I will cuddle up with them on the couch, with mercies that are new every morning, to read them a Bible story and pray, and they will hold me to that because routine is powerful. I read to my older 8-year old in the afternoon, and I’m encouraging the 10-year-old to be independent with this by having a reading schedule printed out and a really neat Bible devotional journal for kids (linked below). Some people read to their kids at breakfast, or first thing after. Having a plan and working to make it a habit is what has helped us the most. Here is a list of our favorite children’s Bibles along with what age I have found them to be most appropriate for. I do not necessarily agree with every version of every story, but I have found these resources to be among the best available. 
  • 100 Bible Stories, 100 Bible Songs, Stephen Elkins 
    • Great for ages 2-4, although my bigger boys still listen in!
    • Brief, fun, and each with an application phrase and song 
  • The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones
    • I’ve used this with ages 4-6
    • Longer stories with great pictures 
  •  The New Children’s Bible, Anne de Vries
    •  Ages 5-8 just depending on the kid. The stories are a bit longer so it nurtures a longer attention span.
    • Has a big kid feel to it, and my kids like to hear the new details on stories they’ve previously heard.
  • The Child’s Story Bible, Catherine F. Vos
    • Age 7-10 
    • We really love this version! It is told in more of a story format and it leads to a lot of great discussions.
  • NIV Adventure Bible 
    • Starting around Age 10-11 we encourage and help our kids create a reasonable goal and plan for reading the actual Bible on their own. There are lots of kid-friendly Bible reading plans online. 
    • And this has been a very helpful tool: My Time with God Kids Devotional Journal. It can be used for any study as it provides blanks for Scripture Read, Observations, Applications, and Prayer. It’s appealing to kids, comes with fun pens, and hasn’t required much encouragement so far! ☺  

• Gospel Fridays. A few years ago, during the covid lockdown actually, I decided to make sure that my kids continued to hear the gospel each week. I chose Friday mornings at breakfast, and I had no idea that it would become so foundational to everything else that we do, or that it would lead to SO MUCH GREAT DISCUSSION. If you’ve never shared the gospel with your kids, I challenge you to try it! I had my husband video this recently so that I could share with you exactly how we do it. There are always little interruptions and nothing about it is perfect. I am not always so thorough because we do it weekly, and I normally engage more while I share it which keeps their interest better than I did with the video rolling.  https://youtu.be/o5VcrIsZVVM  And here are all the verses written out, which is very helpful to have printed and to go over a few times prior to sharing: https://freegrace.in/maybe-theres-more/  
• 4 Proverbs per Year. I realized recently that if I help our family focus on one Proverb, per 3-month period, so 4 per year, I will be able to take my 10-year-old through all of them before he graduates from high school. We keep this very simple. Proverbs were written specifically to give young men “knowledge and discretion”, and each one is FULL of wisdom! So, 1-2 mornings a week we read our Proverb together, or we listen in the car via our Tecarta Bible App. I try in my personal quiet times to read the Constable Commentary and any other notes I can find to help me understand the Proverb better and to share.  I LOVE how the boys are learning through this to see scripture as a help, rather than merely as rules. Even the 5-year-old is engaging in conversation and referencing The Pilgrim’s Progress movie that we watched, which is all about the main character, Christian, trying to walk along the path of wisdom, to avoid temptation and distraction, and that’s what Proverbs is all about! 
• Make a booklet of verses to reference throughout the day with your kids, not as correction, but as encouragement and motivation, to impress upon them God’s love and His wisdom. I didn’t think of this until I wrote this post, which is why I love to write! It forces me to give careful thought to my own ways and it often reveals where I could do better. Here are a few that we already use, I’d love to hear in the comments, any verses that come to your mind. 
  • “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, and without walls.” Proverbs 25:28 
  • “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
  • “Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.” Psalm 4:4 

I’ve heard an analogy between parenting and gardening. Both require intentionality, continual nurture, and patience. I do have some habits of my own that seem like little pests in this garden I’m trying to grow, but even in the midst of that mess, I am seeing seeds sprout here and there. There is much room for improvement, but I wanted to at least share these small efforts in case they might bless and encourage another family. “Hope in God …” was the advice a wonderful Mom friend shared with me, even and especially when you feel hopeLESS as a parent. Do things His way, continue to plant the seeds, and trust Him.

Written by Sally Lockett