By Kathryn Wright
I recently came across a post that read:
“Grieving turns you into a watcher. A bird watcher. A butterfly watcher. A sunset watcher. A sky watcher. A sign watcher. Because sometimes you just need to believe they’re still finding ways to say hello.”
I have personally been told by grieving widows, mothers, and friends that their loved ones send them these signs. In their grief, they cling to clouds, birds, and rainbows for comfort. I have been told by Christian widows that their husbands came to them in the form of a hawk, or that children who have been lost send them special numbers, or appear in a cloud, or in their dreams.
But is this biblical?
That is a hard question to ask someone who is in the depths of grief. We want to offer comfort in times of loss, and if someone finds comfort in these little moments, why not let them find comfort in the signs?
I want to lovingly and gently argue that this is an unbiblical perspective. Nothing in the Bible suggests that believers should be watchers of signs from their loved ones. Paul writes that believers who have died are now present with the Lord (2 Cor 5:8). They are not with us. They are not following us around. They are not reincarnated as birds or clouds. Nothing in the Bible supports such a view of the afterlife.
They are with Him.
That is both a bitter and yet a sweet truth.
However, the post does say something I agree with. The Bible does say that we are to be watchers. Not of birds and clouds, but of something far, far greater. And if we allow the Bible to guide our mindset, I believe it will provide a deeper comfort than a butterfly ever could.
Paul writes to believers in Thessalonica about their loved ones who have died. He comforts them with the truth of the coming of the Lord for the church in the Rapture. He then says, twice, that we are to comfort one another with these things (1 Thessalonians 4:18; 5:11). The dead in Christ will one day be resurrected, and we will be reunited with them together at the coming of Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:16–17).
THAT is something we should be watching and waiting for!
Peter says in 1 Peter 4 that we are to be serious and watchful in our prayers because we are living in the last days. And in anticipation of the Lord’s return, we should love one another, serving one another (1 Peter 4:7–10). Our watchfulness, as we look toward the coming of the Lord and our reunion with the saints who have gone before us, should motivate us to love and serve one another.
The Lord Himself, in His instructions to the disciples on how to pray, begins the Lord’s Prayer by praising the Father. The very next thing we are instructed to pray for is that His kingdom come (Matthew 6:9–10).
We should be praying for that Kingdom and watching for it!
This is far greater than any cloud or butterfly. It is the promise of resurrection and life with our Savior. It is the hope of being reunited with those who have gone before us. It is the anticipation of the day when the Lord will fulfill His promises and establish His Kingdom.
The Bible does not tell grieving believers to search the skies for signs from their loved ones. It points us to something far more certain: the promises of God.
In 2020, my sister unexpectedly went to be with the Lord. She suffered from cerebral palsy during her life and never walked. It brings me a lot of comfort to know that she is now walking with her Savior, not following me around dropping signs. I often tell people that she doesn’t miss me at all!
Every day, I go to my local state park and walk the trails around the lake. I often see deer. It is my favorite thing to see in the woods because it reminds me of the words of the prophet Isaiah:
“Then the lame shall leap like a deer,
And the tongue of the dumb sing.
For waters shall burst forth in the wilderness,
And streams in the desert.” (Isaiah 35:6, NKJV)
Here, the prophet is speaking of the coming Kingdom, when there will be no more pain and no more death. People like my sister will leap like deer! Not just walk, but leap!
I don’t see those deer as signs. My sister did not personally send them to me. However, they are a reminder of the promises of her Savior, that one day I will see her again. I am watching for Him and for His Kingdom.
We do not need to look for our loved ones in the clouds to know that they are safe. We can find comfort in knowing that they are with the Lord, and we can look forward to the day when the dead in Christ will rise and we will be together with them.
Kathryn has a master’s degree in Christian Studies from Luther Rice Seminary, and serves as the missions coordinates for the Grace Evangelical Society. She is a teacher, speaker, and a regular contributor to our blogs. She and her husband, Dewey, live in Columbia, SC.
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